Challenging seasons, transitions, conflicts or crisis provide us with the opportunity not only to rise to the challenge to lead well, but especially to reflect and adjust or align our self with our core values and purpose and live from our true self.

Here are a few questions that help me in my reflections. What are yours?

  • What is objectively going on? Take a step back, pause. Recognize the emotions and thoughts that are impacting you. Pay attention. Don’t interpret. Don’t assume. Don’t judge. Discern. If needed, ask a trusted friend to help you reflect objectively.
  • What are your current responses and reactions? Not only on the surface, but below, in your heart, your soul. Anger. Blame. Self-justification or judgment. Be honest… even if it’s not pretty (but likely so human).
  • What are your patterns? When we are feeling uncomfortable, hurt, etc., we all have mechanisms we’ve learned that seem to help us cope. Withdrawing? Ruminating? Isolating? Attacking? Justifying? Avoiding? They tend to not resolve anything… Instead of allowing unhelpful or unhealthy patterns, what is the opportunity to learn and develop a new pattern? Discomfort is where learning takes place…
  • Who do you aspire to be in this situation? Getting clarity of who you are and want to be is foundational to lead yourself (and others) well. Clarity creates focus and leads to intention and action, which brings hope.
  • What do you want your responses to be like (or not be like)? What would be kind? How can you remain tender? What are you willing to endure and for how long? What are your limits? In the end you can only change yourself and influence your context, but you cannot change anyone else. Deciding how you want to act in line with who you are brings freedom and forward movement. How do you want to others to experience you? What would love do? Love is our deepest identity. 1 Corinthians 13:13.
  • As who do you want to emerge and be remembered when this is over? You can only be you; that is also the best you can be and excel at. Then clarify your intentions and what they look like in your thoughts, emotions, words and actions. Take a couple minutes in the morning to reflect to be clear as well as reflecting back at the end of your day to learn.

If you need a space to reflect to get clarity, connect to explore if a season of coaching with me might be useful so you can focus on what matters most. The first conversation is complimentary. You can schedule it here.

Announcements & Reminder

  1. Don’t miss out on the ICF mentor coaching group discount! If you want to sharpen your mastery as a coach, join the next group in January. There are still a few seats open!
  2. And one other announcement: unexpected changes this year led us to more formally organize and develop the FOCOS Platform. Our website will launch this week: Especially if you are a FOCOS graduate or are simply interested and are looking for further development and staying connected, sign up for the updates. The website is still in its beginning stages, more will come over the next months. A huge thank you to Tina Stoltzfus Horst, co-founder of FOCOS, for getting the site up!


Photo by Bob Richards from StockSnap